Flicken's Blog

Ich bin Flicken, ja! Traditional Islam, food, guns, camping, grammar, Canadianna, Arabic, stuff.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Olive My Love

On October 18, we partook in Jordan's autumn activity: olive picking. The area of Jordan and Palestine boasts one of the finest oil-producing olive cultivars in the world: the revered Nabali (referred to as baladi, or "local", locally). We drove out to Mafraq, close to where my brother-in-law bought some land. There was a large orchard of olive trees. Being a much better negotiator than me, my brother-in-law managed to convince them to sell the olives to us for 0.35 JD/kg. We picked 100 kg worth of olives that day, but only 20 kg was for us.

Olives start out green and then eventually ripen to dark brown, purplish-black, or pure black. Commercial black olives are often artificially blackened. Raw green olives taste horribly bitter and dry out one's mouth to the point where it is difficult to even swallow. Raw black olives are not quite as bad. Nonetheless, all olives require a lot of work before they are ready for consumption.

We placed a large, firm sheet underneath us and proceeded to gently tug along olive-laden branches until all the branches on one side of the tree were empty. We then moved to the next side of the tree.


After picking olives, the next step is to crack them open using a hand mill (Ar. jaroosheh). On the way back, we found a shop with a mill outside and cracked up our 20 kg.

Next, we soaked the cracked olives in water until the morning of October 23, changing the water periodically. We then put them in their vats along with fresh water, salt, peppers, quartered limes, and a couple grape leaves.

By October 26, the cracked up olives (as some of them made it through the mill unscathed) were ready. (The uncracked ones are still bitter.) The result has to be the best tasting olives I've ever eaten, alhamdulillah.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

From Qurrah Al-Absar I

Someone asked me to translate a section from Qurrah Al-Absar, a poem about the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). After attempting to translate the lines as heroic couplets and then as blank verse, I finally gave up and decided to just translate them in no particular metre. The first selection is below:

(Yes, I realize that pasting an image for Arabic instead of typing it is so pre-2000, but there still isn't a wysiwyg, cross-browser-compatible way of typing up Arabic poetry and it's 2008. I wrote this in Word and did a screen shot. Sorry, OSS and WWW, your Arabic capabilities are pitiful.)

The approximate translation is as follows:

A clarification of his names
And a mention of some of his qualities and praise.

He was the comeliest of creation and most commensurate
In terms of form and character; rather, by my life, better!

You would be wrong to compare him to the full moon
In beauty or to say he is like the sea

In generosity, or to liken him to flowers
In luxury, or if you said he was like time

In resolve. But if you were to reverse the simile
It would be an error, or even nonsense.

From whence does the full moon have the radiance of his cheek?
From whence does time have his fidelity to his pledge?

From whence does the sea have the generosity of his palm?
From whence do flowers have the softness of his sympathy?

By Him Who gave him every beauty
He has no comparison in existence.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Kick Me Contributions

Probably any boy who went to school in North America had his schoolmates tape a, "Kick Me" sign on his back as a practical joke. It seems that the trend continues in Amman's second hand market (baleh), where one finds clothing that is cheap and better quality than is generally available elsewhere, but not without the occasional easter egg. Yesterday after the dawn prayer, a respectable, uncle-figure was standing outside the mosque wearing a Coors Light sweater. Since he's my neighbour and knows me well, I explained to him that his sweatshirt was advertising a brand of beer. As expected, he was surprised. Earlier, a young chap that works at the corner store by my work was wearing a shirt that was making fun of Creationism. He too was shocked when I explained to him what it said. Then there's the case of the guy who was praying in the row ahead of me with a shirt that was glorifying moonshine. Since I didn't know him, I didn't talk to him about the shirt. Perhaps the worst case was a young man sitting with his friends outside the mosque with a shirt that had, "HIJO DE PUTA" printed on the back; he actually did know what it meant.

The fine contributions from the West should be viewed with suspicion. They're not limited to clothing with un-Islamic messages, either. Back in 70's, the US poured subsidized grain into Egypt's economy as a form of aid. Egypt went from self-sufficiency in the early 70's to being the greatest importer of grain in 2008. Taking handouts from one's spiritual and economic enemies is like shaking hands with a leper: even if it's a friendly gesture, you're going to get hurt. According to a hadith, the Black Stone of the Kaaba was originally white but turned black as a result of the touch of the polytheists. Allah has promised to eradicate interest and has sent His religion to dominate over all others. How is it that we can expect any sort of long-term value in handouts from an interest-based system or one that advertises un-Islamic messages without a care in the world?

Friday, October 17, 2008

Random Foodisms

The good news: canned, boiled oysters are available for sale in Amman at Carrefour and C-Town. Of course, Carrefour is cheaper, where an 8 oz can goes for 2.70 JD. Aside from the obvious pan frying in a garlic butter sauce, I tossed a bunch in a bechamel sauce with mushrooms and ate it over spaghetti. I am meaning to try them breaded and deep fried. I tried finding boiled oysters in Vancouver's supermarkets. Not having a car at my disposal, I just went to the big outlets: The Real Canadian Superstore, Safeway, Save On Foods, and even Zellers. None had boiled oysters. Kroger, the very first supermarket I visited in Columbus, OH did have them.

Another thing that Vancouver's supermarkets lack is a good selection of natural dairy. Sorry, but, "milk ingredients", "milk serum", "milk powder", and "milk protein" don't have entries in my dictionary of natural dairy ingredients. I'm look for, "milk": straight, simple, and unqualified (just like me). As soon as I visited Kroger in Columbus, I found a wonderful product that is unfortunately lacking in Vancouver's supermarkets: Daisy Brand Sour Cream. The sole ingredient is: Cultured Grade A Cream.

And finally on my list of things I dislike about Vancouver's major supermarkets is the lack of natural breads. I generally try to follow the five-year-old rule of ingredients: if a five-year-old doesn't know what it is, I don't eat it. L-cysteine, propylene glycol, and calcium proprionate are not what I think of when it comes to my daily bread. For natural bread, Kroger wasn't any better.

Fast forward back to Amman.

It seems that most restaurants in Amman use imported meat. I am not a baladi meat snob; I will eat Romanian or Australian beef and mutton if the animal is slaughtered in Amman's abattoirs. However, I'm not comfortable eating meat that is imported from non-Muslim countries, even if it's labeled, "halal." (I'm not claiming that it is not halal, but merely that I'm uncomfortable with it.) I've spoken to a number of restaurants who told me their meat is Chinese or Indian. I also spoke to Nabil, the Jordanian food company. After being forwarded to another employee, I had the following conversation:
Me: I'd like to know the source of the meat you use in your products.
Nabil Employee: Who are you?
Me: I am Abu Fluffy. You don't know me. I don't know you.
Nabil Employee: Why do you want to know?
Me: Because I'd like to know what I'm eating.
Nabil Employee: It's Australian.
Me: As in, Australian animals slaughtered in Amman's abattoirs or imported as meat?
Nabil Employee: Imported as halal meat.
The pattern of: not understanding the question, forwarding me to another employee, asking me who I am, and finally asking why I want to know is very common when asking restaurants and shops about their ingredients. However, often I don't get a satisfactory answer in the end. At least Nabil was able to answer my question.

Recently, my wife and I went for dinner downtown at Al-Quds restaurant. We ordered mansaf and some appetizers, which included fried lamb brains with salad. I asked them the source of their meat: it was Romanian mutton slaughtered in Amman's abattoirs. The lamb brains were disgusting: they tasted like they were fried in oil that was used to fry fish. The mansaf was acceptable: the meat was tender and tasty; the sauce was good (but not great) and it didn't give me a stomach ache the next day. The meat wasn't cooked in the sauce, which kind of makes sense when you're cooking Romanian mutton, for the sauce is acidic and will dry out all but very tender lamb, which is why locals prefer young local lambs for mansaf. Romanian lamb is much cheaper, of course. Overall, Jabri's mansaf is much more authentic: the baladi meat is cooked in the sauce, the sauce is tangier, and they give you two pieces of meat, not one.

After dinner, we decided to go for dessert at Habiba's. Again, I was pleasantly surprised that they (eventually) understood my questions and told me the cakes were topped with fresh cream and made with butter. We had a few pieces. While they weren't as disgusting as most Jordanian cakes, they definitely did not match up to Al-Wadees. Still, I have yet to find a single cake joint in Jordan that can hold a candle to La Poire or Classique of Egypt. (I go to Egypt to become one with my inner stomach.)

And now for drinks: back around Eid time, I was avidly searching for root beer and cream soda. The former was primarily for my children while the latter was mainly for me. After several phone calls, including one very inappropriate one, and asking at a number of shops, only to be told they don't carry beer, I managed to find a place that sold them both and yet didn't sell alcohol or pork: a supermarket called Miles, downstairs in Mecca Mall. They carried A&W brand for both, as well as Mug brand root beer. I settled for the A&W brand of both and they met expectations: the root beer tasted like bubble gum and the cream soda was very creamy and delicious. (I'm not a fan of root beer.) I then learned that the corner store next to us carries Canada Dry brand Cream Soda, but it can't match A&W's elixir. (In case you're wondering how someone who cares so much about healthy eating would actually consume soft drinks, let it be known that I binge twice a year on eids. Other than that, I maintain a healthy diet, alhamdulillah.)

Friday, October 03, 2008

The Miracle of Google Translation

A while back, a brother added me as a friend through Yahoo Messenger. I confirmed my acceptance of his friendship without actually being sure if or how I knew him. Today, he finally wrote to me:
Ahmad Mubarak: hola quien eres?
Abu Fluffy: i only speak english
Abu Fluffy: and arabic
Ahmad Mubarak: no speak english and arabic
Ahmad Mubarak: jeje
Ahmad Mubarak: only spanish
Abu Fluffy: :)
Abu Fluffy: mi nombre es Abu Fluffy
Ahmad Mubarak: aaa y como es que tienes mi correo?
Abu Fluffy: me ha añadido como amigo
Ahmad Mubarak: yo?
Ahmad Mubarak: mmm
Ahmad Mubarak: aaaa perdonnnnnn
Ahmad Mubarak: sabes?
Ahmad Mubarak: este no es mi correo
Ahmad Mubarak: olvide que entre al correo de mi esposo
Ahmad Mubarak: a ver unas cosas y por un momento pense que era el mio
Ahmad Mubarak: seguro que el lo agreggo
Ahmad Mubarak: diculpe
Ahmad Mubarak: le dire que usted estaba aqui
Abu Fluffy: No estoy seguro si lo conozco
Abu Fluffy: :)
Ahmad Mubarak: aaa se llama Ahmad
Ahmad Mubarak: vivimo en argentina
Ahmad Mubarak: yo soy su esposa y soy Sara y soy de mexico
Abu Fluffy: donde es originalmente de él?
Ahmad Mubarak: es Argentino
Ahmad Mubarak: musulman
Abu Fluffy: alhamdulillah
Ahmad Mubarak: con familia de Siria
Abu Fluffy: He estado utilizando traducción de Google para hablar con usted.
Ahmad Mubarak: jejejej, pense que habla muy bien es español
Ahmad Mubarak: muy bien por Google
Ahmad Mubarak: mi esposo si habla arabe
Hassan Maggi: Alhamdulillah
Abu Fluffy: alhamdulillah

The upshot is that I don't know any Spanish and the person on the other end doesn't know Arabic or English, so I used Google Translation to communicate with her. The conversation is really about clarifying who's whom and how we were added to each other's IM friend lists. (It turns out she uses her husband's account). The amazing thing is that Google Translation is accurate and fast enough to fool a person. It's not 100% accurate, of course, but the fact that it works as well as it does is still impressive.