Women's Sexuality in Classical Fiqh

This entry is going to make some people uncomfortable, and justifiably so I must add. The reason I chose to post this is to counter the tsunami of misinformation (both intentional and unintentional) that is being spewed around the Internet, in newspapers, and on television. Many people seem to believe that recognition of women's sexual rights was born in the United States circa 1960. On the contrary, if we are to believe much of what we hear and read, Muslims have brought nothing but repression and suffering for women. Thus, in order to dispel some of these myths, I choose to quote from Fath Al-Mu'een, a classical manual of Shafi'i fiqh, whose author, Al-Milibari, died in 1579 CE (987 AH). Whenever the text was ambiguous, I relied on Abu Bakr Shata's (d. 1893 CE/1310 AH) supercommentary, I'anat Al-Talibeen.

Al-Milibari says:

يجوز للزوج كل تمتع منها بما سوى حلقة دبرها ولو بمص بظرها أو استمناء بيدها، لا بيده، وإن خاف الزنا، خلافا لاحمد، ولا افتضاض بأصبع. ويسن ملاعبة الزوجة إيناسا، وأن لا يخليها عن الجماع كل أربع ليال مرة بلا عذر، وأن يتحرى بالجماع وقت السحر، وأن يمهل لتنزل إذا تقدم إنزاله، وأن يجامعها عند القدوم من سفره، وأن يتطيبا للغشيان، وأن يقول كل، ولو مع اليأس من الولد، بسم الله اللهم جنبنا الشيطان. وجنب الشيطان ما رزقتنا. وأن يناما في فراش واحد والتقوي له بأدوية مباحة بقصد صالح: كعفة ونسل وسيلة لمحبوب فليكن محبوبا فيما يظهر.

It is permissible for the husband to enjoy his wife in every way (except for her anus), even if by sucking her clitoris or having her manually stimulating him to orgasm, but not by him manually stimulating himself, even if he fears illicit sex, contrary to Ahmad [ibn Hanbal]. It is impermissible to perform defloration with a finger.

It is recommended:

1. To fondle one's wife in order to increase intimacy,
   
2. Not to leave her more than four nights without intercourse without an excuse [such as menstruation],
   
3. To seek out the pre-dawn hours for intercourse,
   
4. To slow down so that she can experience orgasm if one's orgasm precedes hers,
5. To have intercourse with her upon returning from travel,
6. That both apply perfume for the embrace,
7. That each of them say, even if they despair from having a child, "In the name of Allah. Oh Allah, ward off the Devil from us and ward off the Devil from that which you provide us with", and
   
8. That they sleep together on a single spread (or mattress).

Using permissible medication to gain strength for lovemaking with a noble aim (such as chastity or procreation) is a means to something desirable, so it would appear to be desirable as well.

It is worth noting that the Shafi'i school of jurisprudence holds that female circumcision is obligatory. It is quite clear from the above that the understanding was that a woman's clitoris would at least still be partially intact in normal circumstances and that women were expected to experience orgasm. If Islamic Law really was about repressing women, why are men being told to sleep with their wives at least every four nights and to slow down if they reach orgasm first?